Lockdown Ramadhan Diaries #5: Burger King Goofiness

I feel like I’m too serious sometimes. And too anxious. I also feel like I beat myself down too much for being so serious and anxious hahaha. There’s never winning when I’m in these personal battles. The battle between changing and also giving myself room to breathe. The reality is I’m doing Ok. But I like to challenge myself. Sometimes too hard. I am aware that I have flaws to correct. But they should be... treated like a guest not an enemy. Only then I can sit with them nicely even if I completely despise them. Knowing that I can always make up an excuse and they’re gonna have to leave eventually. I feel like that’s how we should all see it. Cos we can’t run from our flaws. Save ourselves all these unnecessary stress!😆

Do you have one of those images captured in your mind? From another time in your lives? Vivid memories. The ones you can replay again and again in your head. Btw this reminds me of the red star test that’s been going around. The imagine a red star thing and you rate your imagination from 0-5, 0 meaning you cannot form the image of a star in your mind, 5 if you can see a whole red star. I found it interesting that we have these variations. I forgot what the term is called. Anyways. I have a few of those vivid images in my mind. One of them is from a time me and my mom were at this Burger King. We used to have one nearby our house before it closed down, now substituted by a gentrified mamak place lol. Don't get me wrong, I love it. The ginger tea and currypuff is to die for. Although the price makes you die also.

So we were sitting inside this Burger King (BK lah senang) and they had this huge glass separating the indoors from the outdoors. Out there sat three women probably in their 20s. I must’ve been 11 or 12 at the time; the age where you had this awe seeing pretty young women. Especially when they're carefree haha. You cam 'apa la yang seronok sangat eh?' Cambest je tengok. Three friends just hanging out. I was practically staring at them through the glass lol. And then it was time for them to leave. BK used to have those foldable paper crowns, remember? And one of them had it and she wore it. She stood up and made a show of like half jumping, half flapping her arms. Just being silly and goofy with that crown on her head imitating a child. And her friends were laughing. I remember exactly this. I remember feeling slightly amused, also slightly like 'eh eh dia ni hehe' you feel? Like omg you're so silly but in an awesome way.

And I ingat benda tu sampai sekarang.

Life is so funny. To this day I still am in awe of that particular moment. Everytime I replay it I rasa cam I bebudak balik, and I look up sangat dekat that goofy lady I don't even know why hahaha. But it's a nice memory. Maybe, just maybe, Allah bagi I ingat that particular scene so I remember to release. That there's no problem in being a little goofy, a little laid back. Sometimes you just have to put on a paper crown and amuse your two bestfriends. Cos maybe sometimes that's all there is to this fast-paced, kiasu little thing we call life.