Counting my blessings *twinkle emoji*

I'm not sure how to start this post, introduction is always the hardest part. The body comes naturally (yo yo oh je) but whatever I can't waste time it's past 10pm on a school night (cewah) (second posting already tomorrow askjdskjdd)

Basically life was trying me in what seemed like a very short period of time. I wanted to delve into the timeline and the details but honestly - malas. Also, I dont think there is a point for me (and you, whoever that is reading, kalau ada haha) to relive those moments again, kan? My aim to write this post is to remind myself first and foremost and hopefully others that life will always try you. Nobody gets out of it without being tested. There were moments of random tears and despair, indeed, but I had Allah SWT and amazing people to talk it out with. I was thinking, if I can cry about 1001 things, I can be thankful for 2000 things - and more. I'm trying to look at every experience - good or bad - as teachers, and turning my half-empties into half-fulls.

Sometimes I find myself being like, Am I being fake to myself right now? You're not okay. Why act like you are? But then I think to myself again - okay or not, the show must go on, no? I've had times where I'm holding in a sob but indulging in a random conversation with my mom. The blank stares, the mood swings. I'm crying about it, I'm acknowledging my emotions but I'm moving because I have to. I tell myself positive things because I have to. The other day I came across an amazing quote by ustadzah Yasmin Mogahed - "I tell you to keep going, not because it's easy. Not because it doesn't hurt. I tell you to keep going because there's no other way. To stop is to die. Life is in motion. In growth. In change. Life is in seeking and in finding. Life is in redemption. Each moment is a new birth. A new chance to come back, to get it right. A new chance to make it better."

Berat macam mana pun hati dan badan, terpaksa angkut sekali juga. Lama nak pakai ni. Moga angkat berat ni lama2 nanti sado lah dia ok let's go get this roti yall...

p/s Thank you, Next on repeat. Turning your negatives into positives and being thankful for what your trials taught you? Having faith in yourself? Being optimistic of a future you want and vowing to make it last, but also acknowledging God's role in everything and saying 'you know what, at least I have good things going on for me right now,' What a wholesome energy. Good for you, Ari.